I got this idea of creating a “Working with Me” document from the Tim Ferriss podcast. I wish I could remember who he was interviewing. The basic idea is that we often assume that other’s around us know the best way to work with us because we know what we like. Sort of like a toddler who assumes that everyone knows where the hidden toy is because he hid it and knows where it is. But the reality is that unless you have clearly communicated your preferences for how others should work with you, they probably don’t know. And that lack of communication then leads to both them and you being frustrated with one another.

So please enjoy this little insight into how I operate and I hope that perhaps it inspires you to develop your own.

Working with Brandon – A User Guide

HOW TO BEST COMMUNICATE WITH ME

Email: Email, for me, is my to-do list of other people’s agenda items as well as some of my own. If you need me to get something done, email it to me. If you tell me, I’ll probably forget unless you send me an email reminder.

I try to respond to all email within 24-48 hours, except for bigger to-dos, which I get to as soon as I can.

For me email can be a major distraction preventing me from getting higher priority items done. For this reason, when possible, I try not to go into my email box until after 3:00 PM each day at which point I make sure I go through everything until it is resolved or added to my calendar, and I end my day with as close to inbox-zero as possible. The one exception is when someone tells me there is an important email I need to look at sooner.

Microsoft Teams Chat: For me, Teams works really well for quick questions, plus I enjoy the occasional goof-ball conversations we have as well as personal updates and photos. If it’s not a quick question or comment or FYI that I can skim in a few seconds and then forget about, you probably don’t want to message it to me on Teams. The way chatlogs are designed important items are very easily lost in the log when new conversations come along.

Cell Phone Calls & Text: The people I work closely with (staff, supervisor, peers) are welcome to call or text me anytime, even in the evenings and weekend if it is something that can’t wait or that you are stressed out about and need to talk through. Use text like Teams. If it takes more than a couple of back-and-forths you should call or email me. I won’t answer the phone if I am in a conversation with someone else or in a meeting, unless I’m expecting you or it might be an emergency. If it is an emergency, call me consecutively 2 or 3 times and I’ll answer no matter what if I’m carrying my cell phone with me or it is nearby.

Ring Central: I am connected to My RingCentral anytime my computer is on – it opens automatically on startup. If you can’t get a hold of me via RingCentral I’m either in a meeting, temporarily away from my desk, or there is a technical problem. Leave a message and I will respond within 24 hour.

In-Person Conversations: If you need to talk through something important that will take more than a minute or two it would be better to schedule a time with me then just to pop in. This is because I want to give you my full undivided attention and if you interrupt me while I’m working on something, I won’t be able to do that.

 

HOW TO CATCH ME IN MY OFFICE

My schedule is highly variable and unpredictable and as such I’ve learned to work wherever I can find a quiet space. I often start my day before I get to the office by planning out my day and sometimes taking advantage of our workout benefit. Sometimes I will go through a few items at home before I head in. This means you likely won’t see me in the office until after 9:00 AM and I will typically work until around 4:30 PM  or 5:30 PM.

When I am in the office, I almost always have something on my plate, even when it is slow for everyone else, but I also want everyone to feel like they can talk to me whenever they need to, plus I really enjoy talking to everyone.

To help others know when they can pop in my office for a quick question or conversation and when I am inundated and need some focus time, I will have a rotating sign on my door that will indicate my availability.

You should also know that I like to work where there is a lot of natural light. I feel cooped up and much less effective when I’m trapped in a room with fluorescent lighting (It’s probably the photographer and outdoor enthusiast in me). It makes me tense and decreases my productivity. So if the sign indicates I’m Working Remotely I may just be upstairs or over in the library. If you need to talk, just message me or call me and I’ll come over as soon as I wrap up what I’m doing.

I am also super active, so sitting for long periods of time also decreases my attention and productivity. For this reason, I try and get up and go for a walk or do some stretches every 45-50 minutes for about 10 minutes.

Anytime the sign indicates I’m available feel free to come in, but also remember I do still have work to do, so I probably don’t have time for a long conversation about non-work-related topics, but shorter non-work conversations are always appreciated.

 

WHAT TYPES OF INFORMATION DO I LIKE TO SEE

I like to see information that is short and concise and relevant to either concurrent enrollment or my job or something that has the potential to become an issue or opportunity down the road for me or concurrent enrollment. If the information I like to see is buried in fluff or a bunch of other irrelevant information I will not read it or see it. If I need more information, I will reach out.

 

WHEN YOU SHOULD GET IN TOUCH WITH ME, WHAT I WANT TO BE INVOLVED IN, AND WHAT I DON’T WANT TO BE INVOLVED IN

Involve me in anything that has any perceived potential to blow up – in other words if I might get a frustrated call down the road if I’m not involved now.

Involve me in anything that might impact any of our processes or our program.

If there is something vexing you, something that is impacting your job satisfaction, or something that is really frustrating you, or something outside the norm for your everyday job responsibilities that you want to explore or work on I want to know about that and help where I can.

I don’t need to know everything you are doing. I trust you are doing your basic job responsibilities very well and if I find out you aren’t I will bring those up with you.

 

MY MEETING PHILOSOPHY

I enjoy meetings where we are working collaboratively on something and moving important things forward. For me, information vomit session meetings are painful and a waste of everyone’s time. I would much rather that information be sent out via email, where I can skim it for things that are relevant to my job and our program and ignore the rest and use my time doing something that adds greater value to those around me and our program.

Meetings can also be valuable if we need to dialog through an issue in such a way it would be faster to talk through it then to email back and forth or to have a long-drawn-out Teams conversation.

If after a meeting we don’t feel more connected to each other because together we moved something meaningful forward and had a good time doing it, I failed.

If everyone in a meeting is not participating because the meeting is irrelevant to them then, I failed.

If people are not participating because they don’t think their voice matters, I failed.

If at the end of the meeting we don’t have a list of to-dos with people assigned to those to-dos and a timeline for those to be completed by, I failed.

If by the end of a meeting we haven’t moved something forward in a productive way, I failed.

If after a large group meeting the majority attending didn’t make a new connection with someone or strengthen an existing relationship and learn something useful that they can apply to their jobs and improve on the work they are doing, I failed.

 

HOW I MAKE DECISIONS

For major decisions that impact a lot of people in a significant way: I make decisions by first defining the problem. Second getting everyone impacted by the problem together to make sure they agree on the problem. And third, if they agree on the problem then I involve those stakeholders in brainstorming and moving the solution forward to completion.

For minor decisions: I will weigh the risks/benefits and if the benefits outweigh the risks we will move forward. I usually like to dialog this through with the people involved so that I can get to the truth of what the real issue is because there is always your opinion, my opinion, other people’s opinion on an issue and somewhere in the middle lies the truth.

I am always open to being proven wrong, but just know that I will push back – not to contend or win, and not because I am attacking you as an individual, but because I want to know what the truth is and what the best decision is. I will listen and seriously consider your argument, and would hope that you would also consider mine, and that together we can figure out what really makes the best decision.

 

HOW I CAN HELP YOU MAKE GREAT DECISIONS

I think most of us know the solutions to our own problems, but sometimes we just need a little outside perspective to help us see the things we cannot. If you come to me with a difficult major or minor decision you are facing I will listen to understand what you are dealing with. Many times, just talking through your issue helps you to discover the solution. After I’ve heard and understand your decision I may provide my perspective, but only if you ask for it. If you don’t ask for it I won’t give it. You have to specifically ask me, otherwise I will assume you just wanted to talk through something. Once I give my perspective, I will leave the decision up to you if it is your decision to make.

 

GIVING & RECIEVING FEEDBACK

I love feedback that is specific, observable, and gives me actionable things I can work on. If feedback is non-specific and just a generalized, frustrated, opinion that is not helpful and I probably won’t change anything because I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to change. For example, if someone comes up to me and says, “Your presentation really lost us.” That is not helpful. On the other hand, if someone tells me, “Your voice was really monotone during the presentation, which caused a lot of people to drift off because first it was hard to pay attention to you and second it seemed like even you weren’t that interested in the content of the presentation.” That is super helpful and very much appreciated.

When I’m given good feedback, I will usually spend some serious time reflecting on it. If the feedback is related to something I was aware of and intentionally doing, I will rethink whether it makes sense to pivot. In a leadership role, there will always be people who like the decisions I make and the things I do and those who don’t.

If the feedback has to do with a behavior I wasn’t aware that I was doing and that makes sense to change I will come up with a plan to work on those things and improve myself. I will also always ask myself if this is just one person’s opinion and others would disagree or if it looks like that one person’s opinion is reflective of what others might perceive as an issue.

I like to give feedback the same way I receive it. I will first focus on the observable indisputable facts. For example, I might say, “For the last three meetings, you’ve arrived between 15 and 20 minutes late.” No one can argue with that.

Then I will explain what I and/or others are thinking as a result. For example, “I’m wondering if maybe you just don’t value our meeting.”

Then finally I will stop talking, and get the other person’s perspective on the issue. So I might say something like, “but before I jump to any conclusions I wanted to hear what is going on from your perspective.”

At that point, we’ll work together to reconcile or come up with a solution that works well for everyone involved.

The main thing is that I’m not going to give feedback unless I can pinpoint what I think the issue might be and that it is something specific and observable. And I will never assume that my perspective is correct.

 

WHAT MAKES ME IMPATIENT/FRUSTRATED

I get impatient when others attempt to force their level of risk tolerance on me.

I get impatient when others are constantly focusing on the negative side of things.

I get impatient when people don’t follow through on their commitments or aren’t willing to make decisions or commitments. Whether that is committing to deadlines or committing to getting something done or moving something forward.

I get impatient when others put very little effort into figuring things out that are important.

I get impatient when someone is wasting my time with a meeting or an issue that is mostly irrelevant.

I get impatient when someone interrupts me with a non-critical issue when I am in the middle of working on something.

I get impatient when someone interrupts or talks over someone else and does not allow them to finish their thought.

I get impatient when I perceive entitlement, when people blame others and ask for special privileges as a result.

I get impatient when someone who doesn’t fully understand our program or the issue we are trying to solve tries to make a significant, impactful decision with the little information they have.

 

WHAT I EXPECT FROM THOSE I WORK WITH

I expect that my staff and those I work with will meet all of their core job responsibilities and complete those in a timely way.

I expect people to communicate if they can’t meet a deadline.

I expect those around me to support one another.

I expect that when those around me have issues with someone else they will talk through it with that person rather than spreading gossip and backbiting.

I expect that everyone will make mistakes – like I do – and I expect that when we do make mistakes we will forgive one another.

I expect people to speak up if they have a concern and not to filter those concerns, but to be direct with me.

 

WHAT I APPRECIATE IN OTHERS

I appreciate when others are direct with me regarding their concerns or issues.

I appreciate when others focus on the positive, without ignoring potential risks.

I appreciate those who are willing to help even when it’s “not their job”.

I appreciate when others ask me for help rather than telling me to do something, even when they attempt to tell me to do something in a nice way.

I appreciate when others play jokes on me.

I appreciate when others can find the humor in even less-than-ideal situations.

I appreciate when others think dramatically outside the box.

I appreciate when others aren’t afraid to debate or talk through something with an open mind to try and discover what is the best approach, what is accurate, and what is the truth.

I appreciate when others are authentic, and not trying to “act professional” or impress me.

 

WHY I DO WHAT I DO

I do the work I do for one reason only, to make a difference in the lives of those who fall within my circle of influence. I don’t care what work I am doing as long as it has the potential to impact those around me and those I serve for the better.

For me, these are the top ten things that matter most in life:

1. That we strive to build and strengthen loving family relationships.
2. That we learn to forgive others and ourselves.
3. That we push ourselves to grow in those areas of our lives that will matter most at the end of our life.
4. That we search out and embrace truth (not just truths that “resonate” with us, but also those that create conflict in our life because, deep down, we sense something is true, but are living in a way that is out of alignment with that truth) with an open mind and a humble heart and then apply those truths to our life.
5. That we help others learn and grow.
6. That we learn to love and serve everyone in the ways they need to be loved and served (not just those we like and easily connect with, and in the way that is easiest for us to love and serve).
7. That we learn to love God, follow him, and serve him.
8. That we treat others with kindness, and honor their agency and personal struggles.
9. That we overcome those natural weaknesses and tendencies to indulge in things that weaken our mind, body, and spirit.
10. That we fully appreciate all facets of our life; painful, beautiful, and ordinary.

I am so happy that I get to work with you.